By Dr. Elsie H. Ijorogu-Reed
In Nigeria, a woman’s worth is often tied to her ability to conceive. From the moment she gets married, society watches, waiting for the announcement of a pregnancy. If months turn into years with no child, the whispers begin. They call her barren. They accuse her of promiscuity in her youth. They say she must have had multiple abortions that “killed her womb.”
This is the silent prison many women live in – a culture of shame, mockery, and unbearable pressure from family, in-laws, and society. But what if the problem isn’t “spiritual,” promiscuity, or fate? What if the issue is something far more common and treatable—hormonal imbalance, fibroids, or undiagnosed medical conditions? The tragedy is not just that these women suffer from infertility. The real tragedy is that they suffer alone.
Many women remain silent about their struggles because they fear what will happen if they speak up. Some fear their husbands will take another wife. Infertility is often seen as the woman’s fault, and rather than seeking medical solutions together, men are encouraged to marry again in search of a child. Some are ridiculed by their own in-laws. A woman who cannot conceive is often treated with disrespect, accused of being a curse, or subtly pushed out of her own home. Some face verbal abuse, gossip, and humiliation. In markets, in workplaces, and even in religious spaces, women struggling with fertility are given unsolicited advice, pitiful stares, or outright insults. Some fear that sharing their health struggles will be used against them. In a society where illness is seen as weakness, many suffer in silence rather than risk being laughed at, judged, or abandoned. This is why so many Nigerian women do not seek help—not because they don’t want to, but because they are afraid.
Hormonal imbalance, fibroids, PCOS (Polycystic Ovary Syndrome), and high prolactin levels are rampant among Nigerian women, yet they remain undiscussed, undiagnosed, and untreated. A woman who constantly feels fatigued, struggles with weight gain, experiences painful periods, or has irregular cycles is told to “pray” or “stop stressing.” She is rarely advised to get a hormonal check-up or explore alternative treatments. The lack of awareness, combined with the stigma of infertility, keeps women trapped in a cycle of shame, isolation, and silent suffering. But how many women’s marriages, self-worth, and mental health have been destroyed by something that could have been diagnosed and treated?
Women should not have to suffer in secrecy because of cultural stigma. Infertility is not a curse. Hormonal imbalance is not a punishment. Seeking help is not shameful. As a society, we must normalize conversations about women’s reproductive health. Women should be able to talk about fibroids, PCOS, endometriosis, and fertility issues without fear of judgment. Men must be part of the solution, not the problem. Fertility is not just a “woman’s issue.” Men should support their wives, get tested themselves, and seek solutions together instead of rushing into second marriages. Education is key. Women need to know that irregular periods, excessive hair growth, chronic fatigue, and mood swings could be signs of hormonal imbalance, not bad luck. Herbal medicine, lifestyle changes, and nutritional therapy can help restore balance naturally.
Breaking the cycle of shame requires women to support one another. Women need safe spaces where they can share their struggles, learn from one another, and access real solutions. This is why Halima Yard exists—to help women reclaim their health, their confidence, and their voice.
For too long, Nigerian women have been told that silence is strength. That enduring pain without complaint is what makes a good wife. But silence does not heal. Silence does not empower. Silence does not solve the problem. It is time for women to take control of their health, demand better care, and break free from the shame that has silenced them for too long. If you are struggling, you are not alone. You are not cursed. And there is hope.
Let’s start the conversation. Let’s end the silence.
H.E. Amb. Dr. Engr. Elsie Halima Ijorogu-Reed is a USA and UK-trained holistic wellness practitioner, wellness coach, and CEO of Halima Yard Holistic Wellness Center in Abuja, Nigeria. She specializes in herbal medicine and mental health and is certified by the Federal Ministry of Health as a Traditional Medicine Practitioner. She also serves as the Director of Research for the Islamic Association of Alternative Medicine Practitioners of Nigeria. She writes from Abuja, Nigeria.
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